Long-distance relationships

Those who have known me for many years, know that I have had a few long-distance relationships earlier on in my life (about 20 years ago). For a couple, the problem of being separated by thousands of kilometers is that the image one has of the other person tends to slowly fictionalize into one of the ideal person, until eventually it fits the mold of perfection.

My relationship with Inés is somewhat similar, except for that we’re not talking about love. I have been writing a lot these past few weeks, and the way I describe my main character tends to fit the requirements of the writing, but I have no idea whether they fit her personality! I know her, but not that well (yet). And I suspect that the image I have of her is getting better and better…

In a script or a synopsis required for funding, I write things like: “…her tenacious, strong and witty personality…”  I suppose I write down what I wish her to be. And then I simply hope she can live up to this expectation.

Of course I know some things about her, I have spoken with her (but not enough), and I guess my image of her will change as the shooting progresses and we witness more and more intimate and/or personal scenes. So maybe I am unrealistic in thinking I should know her better now. But at the same time, it feels a little like a hoax. And again, it reminds me of the image I had of the other person in a long-distance relationship, and the reality of it all when we met again: not necessarily worse but definitely different.

2 thoughts on “Long-distance relationships

  1. Hí Koen,

    How is the writing process going along besides all the other work that you are doing / have to do these days?

    Just want to wish you good luck and lots of inspiration in these busy weeks before the shoot will really commence.



  2. Thanks Frans! Things are going well. Lots to do, which means the writing process is slow(ish) but I will meet my self-imposed deadline of end of this week. In parallel, I am in constant contact with the production coordinator in Guatemala to organize the shoot’s details, among doing other things. Enjoying this process tremendously and at the same time getting more and more scared at all the things that can still go wrong as the next trip nears… 🙂


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